Kids are actually quite forgiving & quite resilient little beings. Lucky for us!
I have been through A LOT of therapy. One of my all time most favorite therapists always told me something long before I became a mom but to apply to life in general:
NOTHING good EVER comes from guilt!
So, what are we to do to possibly avoid this inevitable feeling & emotion? I say, we first accept exactly what I just said-it’s inevitable. We are human. We are living chaotic, busy, nonstop, exhausting lives with plenty of routine stressors happening daily but then add in those fun unexpected ones. All of those things are instant triggers to steer us away from things we “should & could” be doing.
It’s not easy to balance things between kids, spouses, household responsibilities, self-care, etc. I mean, when my little ones look at me and say
Mommy, please just come sit with me now?
How do you NOT stop what you’re doing & just sit the eff down with them?? Oh that’s right! Because there’s a fuck load of laundry to be done, there’s last nights dishes staring at me in the sink growing more disgusting by the second, I haven’t showered in 2 days & shouldn’t sit next to ANYONE & I have a new puppy who just walked through his own shit & piss ALL through my entire house.
I’ve TRIED to make myself a promise that ANYTIME my kids ask me to please sit, cuddle, just watch them do something they’re wanting me to see for five minutes-I DO IT! I will NEVER get this time back with them AND let’s face it-pretty soon, they will want just the OPPOSITE & to be left alone!!!
Regardless, it sucks. It just sucks. I think as a Mom, we are CONSTANTLY torn. Living in the MOMENT is nearly IMPOSSIBLE because life NEVER stops. I have to do everything in my power during those moments I am stopping everything I am doing to be with my kids to STOP my brain from reviewing the infinite list of shit I SHOULD be doing!
WAIT? SHOULD I? Does that shit really matter THAT much?
HELL NO! It really doesn’t. As my Mimi always said, “Honey Dear, it’s not going anywhere. It will be here whether you start it today, tonight or tomorrow!” And she is RIGHT! BUT IT IS FREAKING HARD!
WHAT I DO KNOW…
NOT to sound corny or cliché;
Those emails, the laundry, the dishes, the dirty floors needing to be vacuumed & scrubbed, the text messages, the daily grind, isn’t going anywhere anytime soon. Our babies are. Every single day they are one day older & one day closer to no longer being in our nests. I would SO much rather feel shitty and guilty over letting a load of laundry fall behind than to look back someday & feel eternal guilt for losing myself in the stupid shit. By the way, I am NOT saying that I do this every single day or it’s not my daily struggle & battle in my own head because it 100% is. I am NOT perfect. AT ALL.
But, wouldn’t it be nice if we could all empower each other to remind one another that we are human, we are trying our damndest & don’t get lost in making everything so unrealistically perfect around us.
Let’s start by cutting the fluff from the pressure we place on ourselves based solely upon what someone else would think. “OmG, if anyone saw my house right now-I’d crawl in a hole & die!” Guess what?! Start looking at it as-you are a Mom who took a little extra time to spend some QT with the most important beings in your world. You actually have your shit together MUCH more than the Mom worrying more about scrubbing her floors because you have happy little ones who felt a little extra love for a few minutes that day.