“Mom, why doesn’t he get in trouble & if I did what he does, I’d be in SO much trouble?”
How do I explain to my 6 yo that the kid is a legit ASSHOLE? NOT to mention, so is the school at that point.
Allow me to elaborate briefly:
My son is was in Kindergarten in a “highly rated” public school right next to our neighborhood. EVERYONE raved about this school & I just figured I’d end up doing the same. Graham is quite “typical” & really has been a dream in a school setting while saving his terrorism for his time at home with me! When he began Kindergarten, I automatically assumed that would remain the case other than some minor adjustments such as riding the bus, the longer days, etc.
BOY WAS I EVER WRONG!
Ch ch ch ch changes were occurring all around us at the time in which Graham began Kindergarten. Violet was only about 3 months old & I simply figured that Graham was upset at the thought of me essentially spending the entire day at home with her while he’s “missing out” & going to school.
HE WAS NOT ADJUSTING. AT ALL.
He isn’t one to advertise his feelings & therefore it felt like fucking retrieving breadcrumbs from Hansel & Gretel. FOR SEVERAL MONTHS! Religiously, I would go through the list of questions one would ask if trying to solve this problem:
“Do you like your teacher?” ……”Yes, Mom!”
“Do you like school?”…….”Yeah”
SOMETHING was VERY wrong.
After a few conversations with both his teacher & the “higher ups,” I was hearing the SAME thing REPEATEDLY…”It’s a HUGE adjustment & it takes time!”
Then Christmas came.
Graham was VERY “off”. We were all sick as hell, our house had flooded due to a pipe bursting & we were forced to rent a home where we would ultimately spend our Christmas.
Chaos was erupting.
I was (completely my fault) at the mercy of the holidays, the last minute relocation, etc. Shit was rough. The last thing I was thinking about was some little fucking twerp tormenting my son. BUT what I did notice was Graham began REALLY stuttering. I blamed it on exhaustion, us being so incredibly so unsettled, etc. It wasn’t until Jason said to me,
Babe, I got him red sneakers for Christmas because he keeps telling me this kid in school told him that’s what it would take to make him his friend.
To know Jason is to love him. Just like Graham, Jason doesn’t exactly spill his feelings on a regular basis. Needless to say, they had had quite a few conversations regarding this kid due to Graham begging Jason to buy him specific things the kid “required” in order to obtain his prized friendship. Jason was over it. Told Graham regularly that that was ridiculous, he has amazing sneakers & that no real friend would ever “require” him to wear specific items in order to be his friend, blah blah blah.
My solution was to invite this kid to play at our house.
Keep your friends close & your enemies closer.
That’s how I was going to roll.
I invited this kid to our home because I needed to get a load of his action. I did. Full force. The kid was a fucking brat. Appalling. Listen, I was not raised with angels. My brother was a CHALLENGE. I get challenges. This kid was cruel. He preys on the “weak”. Or perhaps just the more kindhearted.
BY NO MEANS is my little man some 1000% innocent soul. I am FULLY willing to look within & quite aware of Graham’s tactics; however, I am also NEVER going to allow some kid to treat my kid like dirt. Period. He was bigger than Graham (nearly one year older), the 2nd of 4 boys & CLEARLY not raised with a father figure in sight on a regular basis. I summed him up in seconds upon him wrestling my son to the ground. Truth be told-I actually called in our Winston (Graham’s BFF/equally fiercely protective Goldendoodle AND Graham is the oldest with only a baby sister in our home) to put this kid in his place because NOTHING was fair about him. NOTHING.
Graham was VERY submissive to him. My Graham. My little bull. My little old man. You MUST know that Graham is a fierce little being in his own right but ONLY when necessary. He hasn’t a clue of his own strength. The child is abnormally strong. #truth.
THIS WAS VERY DIFFERENT.
I was BEYOND lucky that his bus stop was literally in our driveway. That being said-at 2:53 pm EVERY school day-I simply opened my front door & listened for the bus. I was HORRIFIED by what I saw.
His face was battered, bruised & bleeding & I was taken aback.
What happened, honey?
What happened, honey?
“I TRIPPED & KICKED MYSELF IN THE FACE, MOM! I AM FINE!”
A ND S. C. E. N. E.
A ND S. C. E. N. E.
Wait a damn second-HOW CAN ONE KICK THEMSELVES IN THE FACE?
This story continues & gets rather interesting.
Upon much coaxing, I was FINALLY able to unveil the play by play version from Graham:
A kid kicked him in the face. On purpose. WHILE HE WAS KNOCKED DOWN ON THE GROUND. Sucker kicked, if you will.
Following this confessional, Graham FINALLY was able to spill it. EVERYTHING. It was DISTURBING. It was HUMILIATING. It was SHAMEFUL of me as a parent to somehow not have been privy to even suspecting. It was WRETCHED.
I, IMMEDIATELY email the teacher asking WTF was happening. She IMMEDIATELY responds with her cell number & asking for me to please call her. I gathered my composure. It was NOT easy.
>>REMEMBER, I AM FIERCELY PROTECTIVE, BY NATURE.
Katie, I saw Graham fall & asked him if he was ok or needed to see the nurse & he didn’t even hear me ask him so I figured he was completely fine!”
HIS FACE IS BLEEDING & LOOKS LIKE HE HAS BEEN BEATEN TO A PULP & YOU THINK A FIVE YEAR OLD SHOULD JUDGE WHETHER OR NOT HE SHOULD BE SEEN BY A NURSE?
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU??
Following the sheer shock of the situation & when I was “able” to “compose” my thoughts, I was oddly calm. ESPECIALLY for me. Oddly. Eerily.
That’s when shit gets brutal.
She tells me her version of the story to which I am INSTANTLY skeptical. She isn’t the most attentive appearing individual. I ask her more about the particular incident. She was fucking clueless. She was lying through her teeth & was clearly not there. It was as though she was reading a script & that script was via assistants. None of whom I had ever even met nor known their damn names yet they were the souls responsible for protecting my son unbeknownst to me.
Katie, boys will be boys! You have to roll with the punches! These things are going to happen!
MY KID WAS KICKED IN THE FUCKING FACE.
I get it’s public school & all but according to even the principals-“All teachers are required to remain outside during recess to supervise their particular grade. ” Bull.
I IMMEDIATELY demanded a meeting with the principal. Shit was USELESS. Did ZERO.
Should I notify the parents that their kid is an ass or would you like to have the honors?
Jason & I met with the principal & he played the part. Oh so shocked & dumbfounded. Made Graham the “Student of the Week”. Graham was a full grade behind academically. Graham was YEARS behind emotionally & his self esteem was nonexistent. This past year was a complete WASH. If anything, Graham had gone backwards. This was NOT going to just disappear.
They. Did. Nothing. Zero. Nothing.
I BEGGED. I PLEADED. I THREATENED PULLING GRAHAM & YOU NAME IT. ZERO.
I pulled him. February 2017.
It took ONE kid. ONE kid to wreck EVERYTHING I have worked so hard to achieve. ONE SINGLE ASSHOLE.
THIS HAPPENED TO MY SON.
SHAME ON YOU PUBLIC SCHOOLS. SHAME ON YOU FOR NOT PROTECTING MY CHILD & FOR PROTECTING THE FUCKING BULLY. SHAME ON YOU FOR NOT FIXING THIS SHIT & BEING MORE WORRIED ABOUT BACKLASH FOR THE BULLY OVER THE VICTIM BEING BULLIED.
SHAME. ON. YOU.
Graham is NOT the first & sadly, he will not be the last. I am disgusted to report that since Graham’s departure from this particular school, I have heard about several other children experiencing similar situations & with this same particular teacher. WHY?